31 December 2013

Knee-Jerk Reaction (RAW 12/30/2013)

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I hope everyone had a happy Christmas Day and will enjoy the upcoming New Year's Day holiday as well. If the rumors are true about tonight - i.e. Brock Lesnar is returning, John Cena will not be in attendance - then WWE just gave me the best post-Christmas gift they could possibly ever give me. How's about 52 of 'em next year? No? Yeah, well. I had to ask. Wouldn't be me if I didn't.


WHAT I LIKED:  
Punk/Shield: With the absence of the WWE World Heavyweight Champion and the #1 Contender, it was smart to kickoff RAW with the B-storyline of CM Punk and The Shield. Even smarter to have Punk pick at them and play instigator to their impending breakup. It's a little sad that the route they're going is the cliched 'who's better' routine. Punk is right that 2013 has been the year of The Shield and they deserve better than to have no forethought go into their demise. The 'Roman Reigns' chant during this promo must've made Vince happy.  

Punk vs Rollins: Come on, with both Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns outside the ring, everyone has to know that this match is going to end in DQ or No Contest or be changed to a 6-man tag when some tag team comes out and makes the save. WWE isn't even trying. But I guess that's to be expected on a night when half the roster isn't present. Doesn't mean I didn't enjoy the match, though. It's Punk vs Rollins, or rather CM Punk vs Tyler Black - two of my top 25 for 2013. I'm glad they went this route instead of Punk vs Reigns. Punk still would have made it fun to watch, but the level of talent would have dropped immensely. I take back what I said at the beginning of this stanza. The finish to this match was nothing like I thought it'd be. It was a clean finish and pointed ever more towards The Shield's upcoming denouement.  

Langston vs Fandango: Damn, Summer Rae is turning me into a leg-guy. Not to be redundant, but this match is pretty predictable too. The match was just made last week and Big E Langston has only been Intercontinental Champion for less than two months. There's absolutely no way he's losing it tonight. He might lose the match via DQ or something, but not the title. Plus, there's the added bonus that Big E Langston is, unfortunately, a SUPERFACE-in-training. Fandango isn't a strong enough heel to defeat a SUPERFACE on TV for a title. I hope WWE proves me wrong just like with the above match, but I highly doubt it. Again, it doesn't take away from my enjoyment of the match. The reason I said it's unfortunate that Langston is becoming a SUPERFACE is because while I HATE SUPERFACES, I LOVE Langston. He's an asset in WWE for sure. I'm psyched that they're pushing him because I can see him being a major player for WWE in the near future. They actually did a good job of making Fandango seem like a competent contender, but it was eerily reminiscent of how they book all of Cena's matches. His opponent does most of the work, then a few power moves at the end gives the SUPERFACE the match and the win.

Brock Lesnar!!!: And Paul Heyman, too. I think WWE allowed the news of Brock Lesnar to be leaked online to garner some interest in tonight's episode of RAW. WWE programming doesn't do too well during the holiday season and they know Lesnar is an eye-magnet. He's going to get the ratings up, even just a little bit. It was a nice touch having Triple H 'welcome' him back, given their recent history. It really punctuates his 'best for business' motto by putting aside petty rivalries in favor of the company's bottom line. Paul Heyman's announcement that "Brock Lesnar isn't there to settle old scores or exact revenge" seems to give some credence to my prediction that he's going to face The Undertaker at Wrestlemania, despite the redirection of him wanting to be the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. I doubt WWE will allow a part-time superstar to be World Champion again. Not after the bad press they received allowing The Rock to be WWE Champion before Wrestlemania last year. I think WWE knows that the best matchup for Lesnar is against Undertaker, while they still have a chance to make that match happen at Wrestlemania. Notice how they said nothing about Brock Lesnar winning the Royal Rumble to face the WWE World Champion at Wrestlemania. No, he'll probably face the champion in the time between Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania and then face Undertaker at Wrestlemania XXX. That was a pretty impressive looking feat of F-5ing Mark Henry. Lesnar looks to be in fighting form. Just in time. I wonder what shape Undertaker is in.  

Gauntlet: Nice throwback to what should have been the real Match of the Year. Daniel Bryan's gauntlet earlier in the year against Jack Swagger, Antonio Cesaro and Ryback was without question the best wrestling match that WWE produced in 2013 - especially the match between Bryan and Cesaro. This match can't possibly match the quality of the previous gauntlet due to the talent not being as good, but with Daniel Bryan in the ring, you know it's not going to be disappointing. This time they had the better wrestler up first in Luke Harper - and yes, it's weird calling Luke Harper a 'better wrestler.' But compared to Erick Rowan, he is. Speaking of Rowan, all he did was walk to the ring and stand next to Bray Wyatt... how's he already got booty sweat? You could tell the fans in the arena were hoping to actually see Daniel Bryan vs Bray Wyatt because the arena deflated after Harper and Rowan interfered and made the match end in DQ. I should've figured as much, but I'd already made one incorrect assumption about a 3-on-1 situation. I was expecting for that ending to be a swerve on Daniel Bryan's part, but I guess he's actually joining the Wyatt Family.


WHAT I HATED:  
Stephanie McMahon's BIG Announcement: The announcement for the main event for Royal Rumble did not need to take up as much time as it did. Just say 'rematch' and get it over with. But I know why it was done. They had to have Randy Orton and John Cena's presence felt on the show since they're not there in person. Was that a small glimpse of Chris Benoit in that Randy Orton video package? Kinda hard to show him as the 'youngest champion in history' without showing his victory over Benoit, in which he won the title.  

Axel vs Ziggler: I absolutely kills me to put Dolph Ziggler in the HATED category, but I'm rapidly losing any confidence I once had in Curtis Axel, so his matches make me lose interest. And that cut-in promo they showed before his match was cringeworthy. He has zero percent of his father's charisma. Nothing against Ziggler, but I just can't abide Axel anymore.  

New Year's Celebration: I never once thought I'd be happy to see Bad News Barrett make an appearance, but in light of seeing a 'New Year's Spinaroonie,' I'll gladly take it. To be honest, if this gimmick catches on, I could find myself LIKING it. As long as it puts Wade Barrett over as he should already be, then I'm all for it.  

Sandow vs Khali: Can this just be an 'I Quit' match? Or a 'Loser is forcibly removed from WWE' match? I really LIKE Damien Sandow, but his growth in WWE is limited. Winning the MITB briefcase was the closest he's ever going to get to becoming World Champion. His talents are being wasted in this company and he would easily find success elsewhere. As for Khali, just get rid of him. He's nothing but dead weight.  

6-Divas Tag: I guess now that Total Divas is on hiatus, the push for those divas involved is on hiatus as well. And it couldn't have happened at a better time. Total Divas won't be back on the air until the spring, which is after Wrestlemania. Hopefully that means none of the Total Divas reality stars will be sticking their nose into the Divas Championship during Wrestlemania XXX. Aksana looked good during that match - well, about as good as a WWE diva not named AJ Lee can look. I wouldn't mind it if she feuded with AJ in the meantime until Wrestlemania. Mostly because I wouldn't have to worry about her actually winning the Divas Championship.


QUOTE OF THE NIGHT:  
"I'm a Cowboys fan and I hate football." - JBL
I feel your pain, JBL. I hate football around this time every year too. It's time for me to become a 100% Rangers fan anyway. Thankfully, I have far more confidence in the Texas Rangers than I do the Dallas Cowboys. And I LIKE baseball better than football.

MATCH OF THE NIGHT:
The Six-Divas Tag - no I'm kidding. Of course it's Daniel Bryan vs The Wyatt Family because why wouldn't it be?

BEST IN SHOW:  
Brock Lesnar's return was without question the best part of the night, even though it was spoiled beforehand. He's a lightning rod in WWE. Whatever match or segment he's involved in is always going to be one of the most exciting.

REACTION:
Old School RAW is happening again next week. Yay? I guess I'm not excited because it's to be expected. Wrestlemania XXX is right around the corner, a milestone for WWE. It's only customary for them to dig into their closet and pull out some skeletons. Not that I won't be excited to see some of the veterans and legends, but it's been done before.

I could have watched Tribute to the Troops on Saturday, but opted not to. I know how WWE likes to praise the US military - an entity that I'm not fond of. It would've just enraged my anti-nationalism. I'll cede my father's advice of: "If you don't have anything nice to say, make a slightly-demeaning reference to it two days later." What? Those were his exact words.

After some consideration, I decided I actually LIKE the storyline of Daniel Bryan joining The Wyatt Family. I'm sure it won't be for long, but it'll probably be more believable than the time Cena joined Nexus. Daniel Bryan is a broken man. He's fought as hard as he can against the machine and the machine keeps getting the best of him. The house always wins. His only hope was to find help and the machine took that help away (CM Punk, by way of The Shield). Now, he has to reach outside the box to continue to fight the machine, even if by selling his soul to the devil himself.

No Cena. No Orton. No problem. I enjoyed this episode of RAW just about as much as I do any other episode. Aside from consciously knowing that they weren't there, I didn't miss them at all. There weren't any throwaway matches in their stead either. The worst parts of the program were the Divas Tag match and the R-Truth vs Brodus Clay match, but those matches would've occurred even if faces of WWE were in attendance.

Hopefully, the ratings respond in favor of allowing Punk & Bryan to anchor the show. I just feel that if the ratings are good, it'll be attributed to Brock Lesnar and if they're bad... well, we already know who WWE will blame.

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